"Every time I walk down the street, honey!"

Dino: I like it My Way.

And I'm not afraid to say it.

It's as simple as that.

I like to eat first.

I like to sleep in the round bed the "humans" threw on the floor of the living room. (It's only big enough for one of us, so it may as well be me sleeping there comfortably.)

And I think I've told you how I like my water to taste.

That's why I had to put a stop to the Simple One's constant attempts to "rule the roost".

For a long time, he would head up to the top of the IKEA wardrobe in the bedroom, sometimes when I would get a touch of the old Ultra-Violence. Other times, he would go up there just because he was feeling contrary or superior or entitled.

Then, when they brought home the cat tree (I refuse to use the condescending language they use to describe it-it's beneath me), he would always head right up there whenever I stepped into the living room. This didn't bother me too much at first. After all, the cat tree and I got plenty of "me" time even with him up there whenever we were both in the room.

But after a while, it started to irritate me, how he would always assume it was OK for him to sit up there like some superior being, or a bird-the kind you hunt and kill.

More importantly, it put a stop to the Ultra-Violence. I mean, here we are, locked up in This Man's Prison, and a droogie's got needs, you feel? How can I get some satisfaction if he's always up there when I need him?

So I figured, if he's gonna be all coy, then I'd bring the fun to him. He didn't like that so much, but so what? It's not about him.

Nowadays, he doesn't spend too much time in the clouds. And that's just how I like it. More room for me, and more pouncing opportunities when the old Ultra-Violence hits. It's a win-win!

That reminds me of this joke I heard the Warden tell the O.W.R.M.:

Q: Do you know when the Boise Gay Pride Parade is?
A: Every time I walk down the street, honey!

Those two are such queers! But I know what they mean.

Some of us were just born special.